Blog

30Mar
2020

How a Child Specialist Can Be Helpful in Your Divorce

When couples who have children seek a divorce, often their greatest concern is how the process will impact their children. It is widely accepted that divorce is stressful for children and can cause long-term emotional damage, especially when it isn’t dealt with properly. It is absolutely essential that parents help their children feel safe, secure, and loved during and after a divorce. 

At VKBAR, we highly recommend working with a child specialist during a divorce. Child specialists fit naturally into the collaborative divorce process, but can be useful during a traditional divorce as well. The child specialist’s role in a divorce can typically be broken down into a few stages. Read on to learn about each one and how it benefits you and your children.

Meeting with Parents

When the child specialist meets with the parents, jointly, they have the opportunity to voice their concerns about the impact of their divorce on their children. The child specialist will obtain pertinent information about the child’s background and developmental history. If this meeting occurs before the parents have told the children that they are getting a divorce, the child specialist can help them prepare for that difficult conversation. There may be multiple meetings between the parents and the child specialist to ensure that they get all the information they need about helping their children throughout the process. 

Meeting with Children

Typically the child specialist will have one or two meetings with the child or children. If the divorcing couple has multiple children, the sessions may be held together or separately depending on what the specialist deems appropriate. Whether the sessions are more structured or play-based depends on the child’s age. The child specialist is a safe, neutral party who can answer the child’s questions about the divorce, work through issues with them, and help them feel better equipped to face the changes in their family.

Creating a Developmentally Responsive Parenting Plan

After these meetings, the child specialist will help the parents create a fair parenting plan. They aim to create a plan that provides the child with the support and comfort they need. It should be a plan that is functional and will last for years to come, but the child specialist also acknowledges that the plan will likely have to change as the child gets older. He or she helps the parents anticipate how they will let their plan evolve over time.

Ongoing Consultations

As the divorced couple begins to co-parent, most child specialists offer ongoing support to help with changing the parenting plan, minimizing stress on children, and more, as needed.

Where can I learn more about collaborative divorce?

If you are interested in learning more about the collaborative divorce process, VKBAR, PLLC is here to help. To discuss your options, give Irwin Kuhn a call at (615) 321-5659.